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Today, is the day I’ve been waiting for 6 long months for. I can’t begin to describe how frightened I am, nor can I describe the jubilation that this day has brought me. But alas, I shall try. I am so excited about the prospect of a brighter, thinner healthier future. I’ve change my entire outlook on life, and realize that this is a tool, and not a solution. Which is what I thought about 4 years ago when I first heard of this surgery. But now I understand that I had to get to where I’m at now to be ready for this surgery.

At 1:30 pm today I’ll be going in for surgery, and I couldn’t be happier. Or more scared. I think deep down the reason I haven’t packed yet is because I was scared. Scared of the surgery itself, the pain the will surely follow, but in the end I know that this is what’s best for me and my life. I just hope with out a doubt that it won’t be too bad and I’ll bounce back quickly. With no complication. Well time to get off here and get things together for the 2.5 hour trip… and prying my sister out of bed…

A few days ago I fell asleep on the couch waiting to pick up a friend from work, since he’s got no car.  I woke up with my hip hurting and apparently out of place. Its taken those few days to get my hip back into place. Last night I got very little sleep because of the cold weather and the fact that the heat , while on in the apartment wasn’t warming it up. AT ALL. So I managed to get very little sleep last night between bouts of pain with my hip and the cold. And I have to go pick up said friend for work soon and 15 min ago I was having trouble walking. YAHHH thankfully it took laying on the floor and moving my hip around to get it back in place.

Yesterday I made the 2.5 hour trek to Daville to go to my surgical consult. I met with a very awesome surgeon and got my surgery date! May 18th!!!! I am so excited!!!! I know that its going to suck for awhile but I’ll make it work, I always do.
Then I decided that I am no longer able,nor comfortable to pay rent-a-center’s prices and while I love the furniture I just can’t justify paying this much for furniture. So my mother, who is moving to Alabama, gave me her chair and couch that she had, and kept one of the other chairs.
I went shopping last night and I found Purex Crystels and I bought it because I had a coupon and I used it yesterday and omg I love, love, LOVE this product. Its so amazing, it smells great, is pretty natural and I didn’t have a reaction to it once I started working out and sweating. The cloths are soft and the smell is freaking amazing.
My doctor’s appointment is tomorrow and I know I’ve gained some… but I’ve also taken steps to correct that. I’ve joined a gym and gotten, got a personal trainer and am doing shakes and protein shakes.

Well its Saturday… its also 8:06 A.M. I’ve been up for an hour. And no I do not have children that has woken me up, nor am I watching Saturday morning cartoons. I’m up because I had to go to the bathroom, and figured I might as well stay up, because my bestie is coming over today so I might as well get some breakfast (shake) and head to the gym with some water, my ipod and nook color.

Yesterday I am happy to report that I left my house at 2:28 pm and did not return until 3:45 PM.  I did 60 minute son the treadmill walking at a very brisk pace/running, and then I did 2 reps of 25 ab crunches on the machine with a weight of 50 lbs, and then did what I call arm push ups at 40 lbs and again 2 reps of 25. S tried to hand me something and I nearly dropped it because my arm muscles hurt so bad. I am trying to tone up some before I have the surgery so that way I won’t have issues with loose skin right off the bat. So far so good!

Well I’m going to get off here and get my shake and morning meds/vitamins done then get dressed the rest of the way, yay toga pants and sports bra! And then its gym Day #4.

Handy Manny

Guest written by our friend Donnie Donovan

My son has recently gotten to the age where he loves to watch “his” shows. I cannot wait until the spring time when he can go outside and play. Sometimes he gets so wound up and does not have a good outlet for his energy. We recently signed up for a new package at www.directstartv.com. It has tons of family friendly and kid programming on it. I also love the parental controls that allow me to be sure that he is watching something appropriate. His favorite show right now is Handy Manny. It is a show about a construction worker whose tools talk to him. He loves Handy Manny so much that he even had a Handy Manny birthday party this year. He even got a tool box that looks exactly like the one Manny has in the show. And yes, the tool box does in fact come with tools that can talk. I think one reason he loves the show is because he really does love to build things. Whenever I am working outside or in the garage, he loves to be there right beside me.

Since coming off from the liquid diet, I’ve gained back 5-8lbs depending on what time of day I’m weighing myself. This freaks me out, its unacceptable. And yet I ate two ice cream cones today alone. One right after lunch and the other tonight. I know I can do better. And yet I’m struggling like woah. I know that ‘last supper syndrome’ and that I just have to keep my eyes on the prize and do better. And I am and I will. I just did Ab Ripper from P90x and did two hours today worth of heavy duty cleaning and took a walk this afternoon. My pants are waaay loose on me and I still feel like its not enough.

So tomorrow I am going to have two shakes for breakfast and lunch and nothing else until dinner except water. Lots and lots of water. I’m also going to go see my cousin tomorrow. I can’t wait to see him!

One of the things I’ve learned on this weight loss journey is to keep an open mind. I have had a problem with that along the way in so many ways. And I realized that a lot of my very personal beliefs I was just parroting and no longer held the passion for them. I’ve decided to open my views a bit and to experience new things. I am not ready to talk about it just yet, but it is a good thing I promise.

I’ve been slipping on the weight loss thing and I am going to go back on a semi liquid diet and no more eating out, no more hanging around with people that can eat two -three plates full of food when we go out, no more. I have come to far to screw this up now.

This is a review of an adult oriented product please no one under 18 thank you.
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I now have a car, with a car comes inspections, gas, fixing, etc. I am also downgrading as much as possible to be able to afford more items later on. I’ve cut down on the TV, the house phone, (as in anything extra is gone with channels, and the phone is gone.) I’ve started an excel spread sheet for my finances and trying to get the total down as much as possible so I’m not constantly living in fear of over drafts etc. So yeah. This month I am paying whatever I need to pay and saving everything else. I just hope that this works.

I am making calls today for the car inspection. I just hope that it turns out alright. I get to be a nervous wreck until I can get the car inspected.